Been MIA.

My apologies! I've had a lot of curve balls come my way and there are going to be several more before The Hubster comes home for mid-tour. How do I know this might you ask? Well.. its my life and its hell without him home. Dealing with plain LIFE is one hell of a struggle without him here to pick me back up. I get asked all the time.. "How do you do it Cora?" Most of the time I answer with a "How do I NOT do it?" I've completely learned to adapt and overcome a lot since marrying my Husband. You don't really see me complain a lot about missing him. What's missing him going to do? Nothing. It's not gonna change the fact he is gone for another God knows how long. It's not going to make him come home faster. I only let myself miss him a little bit and when I do, I guess thats when I vent. Most of the time I just try not to think about how I've only spent 2 months out of the almost year and a half I've been married to him. I try not to let the fact that I haven't had the chance to grieve over the loss of our baby with him yet. I try not to do a lot.. but guess what? Its way freaking hard. Yes I realize that it can always be worse. Cool. Its not a competition. This is my life.. and whatever is going on in yours, has nothing to do with mine.

I need to tighten my saddle and just hang on with my everything. I know things will eventually get better.. but until they do, Im stuck. I know Im strong and I can handle anything that God puts in my way. I know he wouldn't put anything in my life that I couldn't handle. Im trying to do my best with what I have at the moment and sometimes that doesn't seem good enough. I wish I could go home and spend time with my family before The Hubster and I move clear across the country to Georgia to our new duty station. I wish I could do a lot.. again, I wish The Hubster was home so we can actually start the list we have that needs to get done.. Our time will come and I just need to be patient.

Thinking about you..

For those few weeks
I had you to myself
And that seems too short a time
To be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks
I came to know you...
And to love you,
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks
It wasn't enough to convince others
How special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no one mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny, unfinished baby.
Or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one.
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer
And give me a small glimpse of eternity.
-Susan Erlin

Love you forever,

Mommy.

Its been a few days..

So what have I been up to? Well, I have a friend here from Oceanside, CA visiting me for 2 weeks :) Her husband is currently in Afghanistan so we decided it'd be a good idea for her to come up here and get away from those crazy Marine Wives and cross into a different breed and give her a taste of what a TACP wife has to offer. Also it gives us an excuse to weep in each other's sorrows! LOL I took her to Seattle and she got to experience Pike's Place Market! (One of mine and The Hubster's favorite places) She absolutely LOVED it and it gave me an excuse to go up there and enjoy what that crazy city has to offer once again.

We got to go to the Aquarium and see the Sea Otters and the Seals and all kinds of cool things! I cant wait till I get to take The Hubster. He has never been and maybe that can be on our to do list when he comes home for mid-tour :) Being in Seattle gives me goosebumps. Its so amazing there. The people are interesting and there is just so much to see. The Hubster took me on the "underground" tour before he left. It basically was a tour to show us the old Seattle that burnt down many years ago. If you are ever in Seattle and have not gone on that tour, please do so. There is so many interesting things to see and so many new facts you learn about that amazing city!

Today we took Princess Kiowa to the park and then she got into the sound all by herself! For those who don't know what the sound is, its the inlet for the ocean :) Its beautiful and I love going there to just get away and Im glad I can take my puppy there and see her play and just have so much fun! She deserves to be spoiled and have fun everyday for the rest of her life. Im so proud of her how far she has come along!

A few days ago, I took Mal to Pho. She had never tried it before in her life and she absolutely LOVED IT! Pho is basically a Vietnamese noodle soup. They pour hot broth over rice noodles and you can have any kind of meat or veggies along with it. The Hubster, myself and Mal chose chicken. Its pretty bomb.com if I do say so myself! Its super healthy for you as well. We also went and saw the Hangover II. I highly recommend for all of you to see it if you haven't already. HILARIOUS! I got creative with my hair that night as well. I decided I was going to make a braided headband out of my OWN HAIR! Thats right.. I used my mane for a good cause. It was pretty easy to do! There are a few tutorials on YouTube incase your interested in doing it to your own locks :)

Well, thats all that I have been up to aside from waiting for the most handsome man alive like always :) It may be a few more days until I blog again! Mal leaves Friday back to Oceanside then so Im gonna try and make the most of what time I have with this crazy girl :) Below are some photos from this past week! Enjoy!

Princess Kiowa

Mal with her first bowl of Pho!

Mal with one of the flower bouquet's at Pikes.

Pike's Place

Me and my braided headband :)

Our puppy (:

So I state in my about me that I have a 10 month old German Shepherd, Kiowa. Well, I do! She is my everything basically. I love this puppy so much! The Hubster and I knew we wanted a German Shepherd, just didn't know when and how we were gonna get one. We both knew we wanted a girl too and we wanted to try and find a sable one. I never thought about getting a rescue until I saw a few people have rescues and have successful stories! I thought to myself "Maybe starting off with a rescue wouldn't be a bad idea!" I also thought giving a puppy that needed a home, would be a terrific idea! So I started my search and I found this bi-colored 7 month old pup that needed a forever home. When I got there to take a look at her, she was nothing but skin and bones. She didn't wanna have ANYTHING to do with me. She barked and was so skiddish.

Poor baby was just so AWFUL looking. I knew I had to get her out of there.. so I got her not even having a kennel or a food bowl for her to come home to. I took her to the vet after a few days of having her and we found out she had a horrific case of round worms and severe dehydration. I was just completely distraught. I knew a rescue was work but holy crap! We got her her medicine and I nursed her back to health. She is one amazing pup thats for sure! She learned how to sit within 2 days, learned how to shake in 2 hours, learned how to play fetch within 4 days and we are still working with her on the command to stay. I am so blessed to have such an AWESOME dog who is way protective over me. The Hubster hasn't had a chance to meet her yet, but he talks to her over Skype and he really can't wait to meet her! Everyone loves her and she's pretty much a BAD ASS!

Kiowa-10 months

This picture basically says it all! I just thought I'd take the time to tell ya a little bit about our puppy that everyone loves :)

-Cori

Patience..

You know when they say its a virtue? Well.. when is there a point in giving in? Being a TACP Wife.. or being Military SO in general, ya cant. Knowing there is so much more at the end of the tunnel, like giving him that kiss that you have dreamt about for months on end, or feeling his touch, or smelling his stench you use to get so mad about, its honestly all worth it. If you truthfully love your other half, you will wait. Patience and Faith is what you need to have to survive being thousands of miles away.

I have friends ask me all the time "Cor, how do you do it? I couldn't stand being more than 10 minutes from my husband!" Its not a matter of how can I do it. Its a matter of how can I not? The Hubster is my everything. We fight, we bicker, we say things we don't mean, we feel a certain way after a fight and it carries on during our whole day because we can't drop everything and talk to one another. Our life is a challenge and we knew this when we said "I do". We have to hang in there. Its a do or die kinda thing. Only spending 2 months out of the year and a half we have been married is taking a toll, but we can do this. He and I are the fated ones. We really have no choice. He has his quirks and we both know he is not perfect. Neither am I, but we gotta do it.

"They who wait.. no gifts from chance.. have conquered FATE"

The Hubster on one of our many Skype calls.

-Cori

The Airman Creed For Wives

I am an Air Force Wife.
I am a Fighter.
I have Sacraficed for my Airman's Dreams.

I am an Air Force Wife.
My Mission is to Live, Love, and Survive.
I am Faithful to a Proud Airman,
a Tradition of Marriage,
and a Legacy in Our Children.

I am an Air Force Wife.
Guardian of Favorite Blankets and Bedtime Stories.
My Airman's Right Hand.
His Lover and Supporter.
I Defend My Family with My Life.

I am an Air Force Wife.
Survivor, Trustee, Fighter.
I Will Never Leave My Airman Behind.
I Will Never Falter.
And I Will Never Fail.

Us on our wedding ceremony day.

-Cori

The Wish.

The question of the day is: "Do you take life for granted?" Have you ever just stopped and honestly thought about your life and how extremely lucky you are to be alive? Your situation might not be the most fantastic one in the book and lets just face it, life is just hard in general. Nothing ever goes the way you want it to and you just get completely fed up. Ever been there? I have. Life is about choices. I made the choice to marry The Hubster knowing what he does for a living. Yeah, its tough him being gone literally all the time.. and there is that risk he may never come home, but I made the choice to spend the rest of my life with him. The things he does for me, I never take for granted.. not once.

However, there is one thing I did take for granted that I wish I never did. My big sister Alyssa. She was the all star athlete, perfect grades in HS and the person you just flocked to because she was just THAT cool. She had a dark side. Depression and her disease got the best of her. She was diagnosed with bipolarism at 14 years old. None of us siblings really understood what it was. She dropped out of HS, got into drugs, started cutting and burning herself and that stayed with her until she was about 17 or 18 years old. When she decided to turn her life around and became a fire fighter in the Job Corps, our whole entire family just felt immediate relief. She got her GED, she was a certified EMT and she was making it in this tough ass world. I knew she felt awesome about herself which made me want to make her proud and get good grades in school. (She'd reward me with Jamba Juice) I joined AFJROTC in HS to make her proud (she did it too in HS before she dropped out) I was just trying to do everything in my power to make her proud.

Alyssa (my big sister)

August 31st 2005.. I remember like it was yesterday, but I will explain that whole story on a blog that is dedicated to her on August 31st (stay tuned). I took her for granted. I wish I never did. I wish I never said the things I did to her that night. I wish she could come back and tell me what to do with my life. I miss her. I miss her advice. I miss everything about her. Its weird to think I have outlived her and Im her baby sister. Take time out of your day to just be thankful for everything you have. If you believe in the Lord, thank him for the air in your lungs. Be thankful today and don't take your life, family or anything for that matter for granted.

-Cori